Across my 38 years of pastoral ministry, I have officiated many a memorial service. This week, I have the opportunity of doing two. In both of these, the departed loved one is an individual who has left a wonderful legacy behind. In many ways, these are the easier funerals to officiate. Yes, it is a bitter moment, knowing that the separation from the deceased is very real. But it's also sweet knowing that the loved one is now more alive than he or she has ever been in this life! Any time someone dies, we are reminded of our own mortality. That sooner or later, we will all follow down this same path. Death is part of the package of life. The statistics are clear and indisputable: one out of everyone one dies (see Hebrews 9:27). So how can we prepare for the inevitable? Many don't. They simply choose to ignore what will eventually be their lot. But sticking one's head in the sand is not the way to prepare oneself for the death that awaits us all. Let me offer up a few suggestions that will help you get ready for that fateful day.
1. Face reality. We must learn to hold loosely that which God has only “loaned” to us - LIFE! Facing reality (reality that death is coming for us all) is the first step toward preparing to deal with death. Because if we don't do this, we won't do anything else to prepare.
2. Plan thoughtfully. Every time someone dies, plans must be made and carried out. But when are these plans usually made? Often it is the day after the loved one dies. Now at this moment, are most people in the best frame of mind to make a lot of important decisions? Why leave these decisions to be made by your widow or children? Why not make them ahead of time? You planned your wedding, why not your burial? I am not suggesting that each month you update your pallbearers list! But is there a special song you want sung at your memorial service? A certain Bible passage read? Significant people in your life that you would want to see involved in some way? Go ahead and write it out! It may feel morbid, but better than to leave your grieving loved ones to have to guess what you would want!
3. Communicate clearly. This suggestion flows out of the previous. Once you plan thoughtfully, then you must communicate those plans clearly to someone else. So talk to your spouse (or children) about “what if I die?” Talk about the memorial service. Talk about remarriage. Talk about life insurance. Because there is coming a day when you won't be able to talk to those you love (at least until they arrive in heaven!). I have a friend who has some plans for his memorial service written out on a note app on his phone. But he confessed to me he hasn't told his wife, assuming she will check his phone. My guess she will. But most likely after the fact (I told him he should tell her!).
4. Live relationally. Don’t make the pursuit of money and the stuff money buys the priority of your life. Things like houses and cars and clothes won't last. And you sure can't take these things to heaven with you! Instead, do make the pursuit of relationships a priority! When it comes to the end of your life it will be relationships with people that bring comfort - not your car, house or wardrobe! My wife often tells our grandkids when they fight over a toy - "Remember, that people are more important than things." Something even us adults need to be told!
One final thought. As you seek to live your life relationally, be sure your most important relationship is in order. Of course, I am referring to your relationship with the God who made you. To be sure it is, I would encourage you to take a moment to check out Two Ways to Live: The Choice We All Face.
May you live long and prosper in Christ ... and get prepared for your passage from this life to the next!
Thanks for stopping by . . .
pj
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