Difficult People?

I originally posted the following on July 27 of 2007. Considering that we all have people in our lives that we consider "difficult" - I thought this posting was worthy of another "read."

Difficult People?
July 27, 2007

This morning I googled the phrase "dealing with difficult people" and got over 16 million hits! Ouch - but not all that surprising. We ALL deal with difficult people. They might work along side us at our workplace or they might sit behind us in a classroom at school. They might even eat at our own dining room table at home. Difficult people are everywhere. Even sitting in the pew at church right next to us! AND -- are you ready -- EVEN STARING BACK AT YOU FROM THE BATHROOM MIRROR! That's right! Difficult people populate our world -- and even populate the church. (Yesterday I was talking with a mail carrier about problems that have arisen in his church. At the end of the conversation, he reminded me that problems in churches can and should be expected because, after all, churches are FULL of IMPERFECT people. And he is right!)

So, how do we deal with difficult people? Here are a couple of thoughts. To begin with, work on your own heart. Jesus tells us that this is where we MUST start. In Matthew 7:3-5 he says, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."

You see, Jesus does not forbid us from trying to help someone who has a problem - but he tells us that we need to start "at home" first! So if you want to deal with difficult people, start with yourself. Humble yourself to admit that you are more of a difficult person than you realize. And then work at becoming a person of grace (the first step toward this is to daily "preach the gospel" to your self. Remind yourself that you are totally and absolutely underserving of the salvation God has lavished upon you in Christ!). As you become more humble and gracious, I am going to speculate that you will begin to find the number of difficult people in your life decreasing in number (and probably significantly so!).

Secondly, learn to give the difficult people in your life the "benefit of the doubt." They just may be difficult because of some pain they are experiencing that you know nothing about. Learn to bear with others and patiently love them (even if they are proving to be difficult). If ALL of us would learn to practice the following Scripture, the Church would be a far better community: "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity" (Colossians 3:12-14).


Thanks for listening,

pj