Friday Coffee with PJ - Special Flashback Edition

Due to yesterday's kidney related surgery (in which my urologist may have found and dealt with the problem), I did not get around to writing a new post for this week. So today will be a special flashback edition. I hope you find some help for your journey!


I posted the following back on January 19, 2006 and on May 11, 2011. I thought what I had to say then is just as appropriate for today. 

Move Aside, Dr. Phil - It's Dr. John!  

This morning on the radio as I was driving my “long” commute into the office, I heard an ad with a familiar voice speaking.  It was Dr. Phil.  He was promoting some sort of dating service.  In the ad he made the statement, “When it comes to relationships, it’s all about attitude.”  In part he is right.  The quality of our relationships is impacted either negatively or positively by the attitude we bring to our relationships. But I, Dr. John, think that something else is far more important. I’m talking about our focus.  If we are to have relationships that honor God and enrich our lives, then we must have the right focus – and far too many of us don’t!   

So what is the right focus when it comes to relationships?  God answers this question (I never get over just how relevant the Bible is to day-to-day living!).  In Philippians 2:3-4, we read, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” In Romans 12:10 the Apostle Paul commands us to be strive to honor the other guy more than he honors us! So you see – it all comes down to our focus.  Our default focus is SELF.  When push comes to shove we most naturally think of ourselves first.  But God tells us that we need to reset our default focus.  Instead of focusing on ourselves – we need to focus on others.  We do so as we consider them to be more important than us and seek to honor them above ourselves.  

In Philippians 2:5-8, Paul goes on to point us to Jesus as our example. He certainly did not think of himself first. He willingly left the glories of heaven to become one of us, live with us, and eventually die for us. His death on the cross makes it possible for us to be reconciled to our God! He our took our sin upon himself and, in turn, we receive his righteousness credited to our account when by faith alone we trust in Christ alone to save us from the penalty our sin demands! 

So, back to your personal relationships. Are they not working? Then take a look at your focus. My guess is you are focused on the wrong person. Follow the example of Jesus (Ask him to help you to do so)! Get your eyes off of yourself and onto others. Then and only then will you begin to experience God-honoring and life-enriching relationships.

Thanks for stopping by . . . 

pj